Drunk  Soul Eater
by Setsuko Arakashi
Summary: What happens when certain Soul Eater characters get drunk? Well, welcome to my mind! Read to find out!
1. Maka

**Well I'm writing a new chapter story! It will have multiple one-shots about some of the characters of Soul Eater getting drunk! I plan on expanding this to other anime and manga as well. For Soul Eater, I plan on doing Maka, Soul, Black Star, Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, and Kid. I might add other characters but not yet. Well, I guess that's about it. I hope you enjoy the little stories on drunken Soul Eater characters.**

_**Disclaimer:**_** I do not own Soul Eater! I wish I did but I do not have enough money to do so. If I did though, I would make Soul and Maka get together! They are definitely couple material! I would also have a magical unicorn that Excalibur would ride!  
>Excalibur: FOOL! <strong>

****

_Italics-Soul's thoughts  
><em>_**Bold Italics-Black blood demon dude thing's thoughts**_

Drunk – Maka

Maka stumbled into the house barely catching herself as she tripped on her own feet.

"Soooouul *hic*I'm home! *hic*"

"Yo." He called from on the couch.

Maka slowly made her way to the couch. Unable to stay standing she fell right onto Soul as he sat on the couch and watched TV.

"Oi! Get off, would ya?"

"But your soooooo comfy!*hic*"

"What's wrong with you Maka?"

"…"

Maka suddenly shot up from her position on the coach/Soul. Shocked, Soul fell backwards resulting in her coming down with him.

"Whaa?" Soul said.

That was when he could actually get a good look at her.

Her hair was a mess. Her eyes looked hazy and unfocused. Her clothes were wrinkled and rumpled. Her once new shoes were a mess with one totally gone. Yepp, there was something wrong with her alright.

"Maka, what have you been doing?" he asked.

"Ehh? I was at the bar with the girls when suddenly a monkey crashed through the ceiling! He was about to kidnap Tsubaki when a unicorn charged through the door and cut him to pieces with his chainsaw! Then the unicorn burst into flames! All of a sudden, a giant sword falls down from the sky and it starts to talk to me! Then it challenged me to a drinking contest! But, he lost the contest because a rainbow crashed through the ceiling and split him in half!" she rambled on as she made hand motions.

"Maka, how many drinks have you had?"

She started to mumble to herself as she counted on her fingers. She held up ten fingers and said, "I can't count high enough!"

_Yepp_, Soul thought, _she's totally drunk._

Soul picked up Maka and started to drag her to her room.

"Where are we going mister?"

"I'm not mister, I'm Soul."

"But you don't look like a soul!"

"I'm not a soul, my name is Soul."

"But how can your name be Soul if you aren't a soul?"

"Would you just put on your pajamas?"

"Okeydokey mister!"

He ran his hand through his hair as he let out a sigh. When he got Maka into her room, he closed the door and waited outside for her to finish.

~~~10 Minutes Later~~~

_Man, what's taking her so long?_

"Maka, are you done yet?"

"Mister Soul, I need some help! My shirt is stuck on my head!"

_Man, can she do anything without my help? Well she did manage to get back to our apartment._

"Maka, I'm coming in."

"Okayyy!"

Soul reached out his hand and opened the door that led to Maka's bedroom. What he saw caused a blush to crawl up his face.

There was Maka with no skirt on and a shirt stuck on her head. She was wiggling her body with her arms also stuck to her head because of the shirt. The underwear she was wearing could barely be called underwear. It looked more like strips of lace and fabric.

_They are probably from Blair._

To avoid getting a nosebleed, he quickly made his way to her side and began to pull the shirt off of her head.

It slid right off and he quickly made his way out of the room.

_Oi, how many drinks did she really have?_

He ended up walking into his bedroom while he was thinking to himself.

_Well, I guess I should just get dressed into my pajamas too._

He stripped off his clothes and threw on some sweats and a loose black t-shirt.

After exiting his room, he decided that he should make Maka some tea to calm her down.

He made his way to the kitchen and began to boil water with their red teapot. Soul also brought down two mugs; one for him and one for Maka.

He was pouring the water into his mug when he heard Naka coming down the hall.

Without turning around he said, "I made you some tea."

"Thanks mister Soul!"

He turned around and yet another blush crawled up his face.

There stood Maka, in a short, red see-threw nightgown. It barely reached past her bottom and you could clearly see her matching red, lacy underwear she wore underneath. The nightgown had black lace running along the ends. It also had a black, lace heart on her right breast.

"Maka! What are you wearing?"

"I found it in the back of my pajama drawer! It just looked sooo comfy!"

"Where did you even get that?"

"Blair-chan I think."

_Of course she got it from the cat!_

"So, do you like it Soul-kun?"

"Ehh? Soul-kun? Since when do you call me that?"

"Since now!"

"Just drink your tea."

Maka took the cup and started to blow on it to cool it off. Soul also blew on his as he began to drink it.

~~~5 Minutes Later~~~

The two distributed the empty cups to the sink and headed into the living room. Although, Maka was still walking very wobbly as she tried to stay standing.

They reached the couch and Soul turned on the TV. He just flipped through the channels as Maka stared at him.

When he finally noticed, she pounced on him.

Maka flung herself at Soul as she wrapped her arms around his body. However, this caused her nightgown to ride up her body where her panties were clearly showing.

Soul could feel the blood rush to his head as he tried to stop the nosebleed. He succeeded but ended up with his face as red as a fire truck!

"W-What are you doing?"

"You looked so comfy!"

Maka made herself comfy as Soul sat there stiff as a board.

"M-Maka? Do you mind getting off of me?"

"No thanks! You're like a GIANT pillow! And you're really warm!"

Soul tried to at least move himself to get a little comfier. However this caused Maka to wrap her long legs around his waist and hug him even tighter than before.

"You're gonna make me fall silly!"

His face turned a crimson red that rivaled his eyes.

_What am I supposed to do now?_

_**Do something boy! Don't just sit there like an idiot, idiot! Why don't you pick her up and take her to her room, or you can just sleep here with her on top of you. I bet you would love for that to happen, hmm.**_

_Get out of my thoughts demon! They are supposed to be private._

_**It's not my fault that I have to hear, see, and feel everything that you feel, boy.**_

_Whatever._

However, Soul ended up taking the demon's advice. He scooped Maka up and began to walk towards her room.

"Where are we going Soul-kun? Are we gonna have some fun?"

"**You** are going to bed."

"But I'm not tired! I wanna spend more time with Soul!"

"Too bad."

"Wahhhh!"

"Maka, you aren't a baby."

"Wahhhh!"

"Whatever."

He finally reached her room and proceeded to drop her onto her bed. However, she wouldn't let go.

"Maka, let go."

"No, don't leave me!"

"Maka, I'm in the room next door."

"Don't leave me!"

"But I need to sleep."

"Sleep with me!"

This caused a debate to go on in Soul's head. He didn't want to sleep with her when she was like this but he really needed the sleep. They had a kichin egg hunt mission tomorrow.

"Okay."

He slipped into her bed when Maka finally let him go.

He made sure to turn his body so he was facing away from her, he even moved as close to the edge as he could.

This did not stop Maka.

She wrapped her arms around his body and tangled her legs with his. Her face was snuggled into his back between his shoulder blades.

Soul just sighed and turned around so he could at least see her. Maka did the same thing as before but this time her head was snuggled into his chest.

Soul ended up falling asleep with his arms around her body and his face buried into her hair.

Together, they fell asleep peacefully.

The next morning was a different story involving an embarrassed Maka, a few Maka Chops, and a very smug looking Soul. He really seemed to enjoy the whole thing.

****

**Well, how was it? I tried SO hard! Eheheh not really. I spent like a few hours on it. I'm a really slow typer! So, how was it? Any improvements I could make for my next story. By the way, the next one I'm gonna do is Soul. Any ideas on how Soul should act? **

**Soul: You definitely have to make me look cool.**

**Me: Haha, not a chance foo!**

**Maka: Why on Earth did you make me act this way?**

**Soul: Heh, I kinda liked it.**

**Maka: Makaaaaa CHOP!**

**Me: Hahahahahaha! Sucker!**

**Maka: You're next!**

**Me: If you try anything, my next story will be much worse!**

**Maka: Ehhh?**

**Me: Mwhahaha! The power of the threat!**

**Well, any comments, reviews, suggestions, pointers, and blah blah blah are appreciated! I would always like to make my stories better!**

**Well, R&R Please!**

**Review Button: Click the smexi blue button and I'll give you a cookie! XD**


	2. Soul

**Well I'm back with the next installment of Drunk! This time around is Soul's turn and I would really like to thank one special reviewer. After reading your review, I just had to put it in! I hope you don't mind but it just sounded so fun to create. Well, I would like to thank the reviewer known as…**

**The Mask for Insainity**

**Well, other than that, thanks for reading! It has been such a joy to write the drunken Maka and now its Soul's turn! Hahaha, watch out Soul!**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Soul Eater. I am far too broke to purchase such a thing. If I did own Soul Eater I would make Blair have another form as a purple polka-dotted unicorn!**

Drunk - Soul

**Bold – Maka's Thoughts**

"Maka darling! I'm home!"

Soul yelled as he entered their shared home.

He threw off his shoes and began to walk around the house. (Me: Wait, is it an apartment? Oh well!)

He finally found his target making a cup of tea in the kitchen.

As sneaky as a ninja, Soul snuck up behind Maka. Once he was right behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Maka squeaked and practically dropped the super-hot cup of tea she was preparing. She put it on the counter before it could spill.

"What the hell Soul!"

"Hi Maka!"

When he said that, Maka could tell something was wrong. She could pick up a scent of...something on his breath. It was sort of like alcohol.

"Soul, where have you been?" she asked suspiciously.

"Well after we played basketball, me and Black Star and Kidd and Patty and Liz and...nope that's it. Well anyway, we went to the bar for a couple of drinks. When we got there Patty challenged me to a drinking contest! We both drank like a billion shots before Patty lost! It was so cool!"

**Yeah, Soul is definitely drunk.**

"Soul, would you let go of me now?"

"Okay!"

He dropped his arms back to his sides as Maka turned around. That was when she could see his appearance.

**Yup, he is so drunk.**

His hair was rumpled and messy. His clothes were super dirty. He kept smiling a really goofy smile.

"Soul, get out of those disgusting clothes! Go change before you make a trail of mess!"

"Okay!"

When Maka said that, she meant to go to his room and change, but Soul had a different idea. A very strange one at that.

Soul began to take off his shirt right in front of Maka. He then went to his socks and pants. Now he was standing right in front of Maka in nothing but smiley-face boxers. (Me: I just had to make them smiley-face!) She just stood there, too shocked to move or say anything as a blush crawled up to her face.

"What the hell Soul!"

"You told me to get out of these clothes."

"I meant for you to go to your room and change idiot!"

"Hehe whoops!"

"I would so Maka chop you if you weren't so drunk!"

Then Soul did something that Maka never imagined he would do, he...he...he giggled!

Maka stood there frozen yet again.

"Did you just...giggle?"

Then he did it again! He giggled again!

**The world must be ending. Soul never giggles! He would never do something so...so...**_**uncool.**_

"It looks like my bitch enjoys the view!"

This one sentence snapped Maka out of her state of frozenness.

"What did you say?"

You could hear the evilness in her voice. You could also feel a killer intent radiating off of her petite body.

"I said, it looks like my bitch enjoys the view!"

"Who's the bitch?"

"You of course! Maka is my bitch!"

"I am so gonna kill you."

"Too bad you can't."

"What ever do you mean?" she asked way too sweetly.

"You're my bitch! That means you have to follow my orders and I demand that you don't kill me!"

"You are so extremely dead now Soul."

Maka took a step toward Soul and he bolted. He ran straight to the living room. However, Maka just ran after him. They ended up parading around the house for an hour before they both collapsed on the couch.

Maka was so tired from running that she didn't notice Soul slowly crawling towards her. When he finally got close enough, he pounced on top of her.

"Soul!"

"Yes bitch?"

She grumbled something under her breath before she replied with, "what are you doing?"

"I was cold."

"That's because you're only wearing boxers idiot!" she screeched.

"Maka's scary!"

With that said, he snuggled more into Maka. He ended up wrapping his arms around her waist as he rested his head in between her breasts. His legs were tangled in with hers.

"You are completely dead meat tomorrow! Now get up before I Maka Chop you into next week!"

"But you're so comfy! I don't want to let go! Don't be mean Maka!"

"Souuul." Maka said dangerously.

"What is it bitch." He replied contentedly.

"Gah! That's it!"

She bolted up causing Soul to fall right off of her onto the ground. She then grabbed his arm, hoisted him up and dragged him to his room.

Surprisingly, he didn't say a word the whole time there. Actually he looked like he was about to fall asleep while he was being dragged.

**How do you fall asleep when you are being dragged across the floor? You never cease to amaze me Soul.**

She reached his room and threw him none too gently onto his blue bed. (Me: I'm just guessing here.)

That woke him up a little as he watched Maka exit his room.

"Makaaaa, don't leave."

"What now Soul?"

"I want you to sing a lullaby."

"No way in hell am I singing you a lullaby."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top."

"No."

"In that case…"

His hand shot out from under the covers and wrapped around Maka's small wrist. He yanked his arm back and pulled her into the bed with him. Then he locked her in my wrapping his arms around her small body frame.

"…you can stay with me until you sing a lullaby."

"I really hate you Soul."

"Just a lullaby my bitch." he said with a yawn.

Seeing as how she had no choice but to sing, because she was tired and wanted to get to sleep, she chose a song that her mother used to sing to her. That is, before her mother had left her with her idiot father. The lullaby was called Golden Slumbers.

"_Golden slumbers kiss your eyes, smiles await you when you rise;_

_Sleep, young one, do not cry, and I will sing a lullaby."_

"_Care you know not, therefore sleep;_

_While I watch over you do not weep;_

_Sleep, pretty loved one, do not cry, and I will sing, I will sing, I will sing a lullaby."_

"_Sleep, pretty loved one, do not cry, and I will sing, I will sing, I will sing a lullaby."_

"_I will sing a lullaby."_

"There, can I go now?"

After no response she looked up at Soul's face. He was asleep. He looked so peaceful and cute. This was the reason she never left his room that night. Maka just didn't want to disturb him so she fell asleep wrapped in his arms.

When Soul awoke the next morning, he was thoroughly confused as to why Maka was in his arms. She just chuckled and went to go make breakfast as Soul sat there clueless.

****

**How was it peeps? Any improvements that I can make on my next story? Well I welcome reviews and would like any thoughts on my writing.**

**Soul: I hate you**

**Me: I feel so offended! After I put so much work into this!**

**Soul: Evil little demon.**

**Me: YUPP!**

**Maka: Hahahahahahaha! Soul with smiley-faced boxers?**

**Soul: I bet you liked them.**

**Maka: What are you talking about! Makaaaa-Chop!**

**Soul: Gah!**

**Me: You both are complete idiots.**

**Both: Well you are an insane psycho!**

**Me: SOOOOO TRUE! MWHAHAHA! Well anywayz, I have a very important question for my reviewers!**

**Who should I do next?**

**Tsubaki**

**Kidd**

**Black Star**

**Patti & Liz**

**Tell me who you want in your reviewz!**

**Review Button: Click me click me click me!**

**Me: Click him or I'll send an assassin to get you!**

**R&R PLZ!**


	3. Tsubaki

**Yay! I'm back! Sorry it took so long for me to write this. I just have so much to do and I'm never home. Plus, I had writer's block and couldn't figure out any ideas. Well, this one is about Tsubaki! She won with 5 votes. Next will probably be Black Star. The Kidd, and finally, Patty&Liz.**

**Well, I hope you like this chapter. Any improvements, and such, just tell me and I will try to make the next chapter better.**

**Oh, by the way, I'm changing Black Star's personality a little. I kinda think when he is at home, he is probably much calmer.**

Drunk – Tsubaki

**Bold – Black Star's Thoughts**

Tsubaki stumbled into the house as she kicked off her shoes. She began to walk to her room when she ran right into Black Star.

"Tsubaki!"

"What do you want brat?"

When that was said, Black Star was confused.

**Tsubaki is never mean, only when she was drunk. Actually, she was a lot of things when she was drunk. She sorta bipolar when she's drunk. Wait…is she drunk right now?**

"Were you out drinking?" Black Star asked.

"Maybe. Now get out of my way brat." she said as she shoved him aside.

Black Star slammed into the wall by the force of her shove.

"Oh no! Are you alright? I didn't mean to push you! Oh no you're gonna die and it'll be my fault because I pushed you into a wall and you were terribly hurt and oh no! Don't die Black Star, don't die! You just can't die! Who'll be my miester? Oh no, oh no, oh no! You must be terribly hurt! Everyone will think I'm a murderer! You can fight through the pain Black Star! You can do it! Just don't die!" Tsubaki rambled on as Black Star stood up.

**Here was the crazy caring one.**

"Tsubaki, I'm fine, see."

"Oh thank goodness! Hey did you just look down my shirt! You pervert!"

**Now the perverted one.**

"I didn't look down your shirt Tsubaki."

"You totally did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yeah, you did."

"Why would I look down your shirt?"

"Am, am I not good enough for you?" she said as tears welled up in her eyes.

**Next is the crybaby one.**

"Tsubaki, you're perfect." Black Star said as he sighed.

"No, I'm just a terrible weapon!" she screamed as she ran into her room.

**This is why you don't give Tsubaki alcohol.**

Black Star walked to Tsubaki's room and walked in. Probably not a smart move. Tsubaki was in the middle of her room changing into different clothes. All she had on at the time was her underwear.

"You're such a pervert! I bet you like what you see, hm?"

"I'm sor-sorry! I didn't mean…mean to barge in on…on you!"

Black Star quickly turned around as he tried to hide his blush.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay!"

Tsubaki began to walk towards him as he began to walk out the door. Since she was an assassin, she was silent. Once close enough, she hugged him. Let me remind you that she was still in her underwear. Now Black Star's blush had doubled!

"Black Star, you're so sweet!"

**Lastly, the caring one.**

"Tsubaki."

"Yes?"

"Do you mind putting on clothes now?"

"Ah, you pervert! You just like to see me practically naked! Well if you like it so much then why don't you turn around and look at me?"

"I'd rather not."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now go put on clothes."

Tsubaki walked back to her clothes as Black Star began to walk out the door.

"Black Star? I need help, how do I put this shirt on?"

**A new personality! The clueless one.**

Black Star turned around but he probably wished he hadn't. Tsubaki just looked so vulnerable right now, he just wanted to…to…to kiss her.

"Black Star, help please."

"Right." he said as he snapped out of his trance.

He walked over to her and pulled the top over her head. He easily slid it on and he turned to leave right afterward. He really needed to leave before he did something that he would regret.

However, he was stopped. Again. For like the third time. Tsubaki had put her hand on his shoulder right before he was able to walk out the door. She turned him around and wrapped her arms around his body.

'Thank you!" she said.

Once again, Black Star really wished he hadn't walked in here. His random urge to kiss her had grown and now he found himself leaning towards her. He continued forward and their lips met.

**I…I…I really just…kissed her.**

"Gah you jerk! You're just taking advantage of me!" she shouted as she shoved him out the door.

"Now learn to knock brat!" she said as she slammed the door in his face. When the door opened seconds later, Tsubaki was fully dressed.

"Go make me some tea! Now!"

"Okay!"

Black Star went to the kitchen to make the tea as Tsubaki made herself comfy on the couch.

"Why isn't my tea done? Hurry up you little brat!"

Black Star quickly brought the tea and sat down beside her.

"Thank you! You're so considerate!"

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"Eh?"

"I didn't mean to kiss you, it just happened."

"You were thinking perverted thoughts weren't you. Well, I liked the kiss!"

"Eh?"

"You're a really good kisser!"

"What?"

"I said, you are a good kisser,"

Black Star was shocked.

**Tsubaki is really confusing when she's drunk.**

"I bet you wanna kiss me again. Well go ahead."

"What?"

"You aren't a good listener today are you?"

With this said, Tsubaki pinned Black Star onto the couch and began to dip her head down. Their lips met again and they were kissing again. Black Star ended up throwing his arms around her as they both got into the kiss.

After their little kiss, Tsubaki began to get sleepy. She snuggled up next to her miester and began to doze off. Well until Black Star moved his arm and it brushed against her breast.

"Gah! You're trying to rape me in my sleep!" she screamed as she fell out of the couch entangled in the blanket they had found.

"I was just trying to move my arm! I didn't mean it!"

"Yeah right!" she said sleepily from the floor.

Before Black Star could say anything, she had fallen asleep again.

**What am I going to do with you Tsubaki?**

He carefully picked her up and brought her to her room.

"Thank you." she mumbled in her sleep.

The next morning, Tsubaki awoke with a headache. She noticed Black Star sleeping against her bed and smiled. He was such a nice miester. Now If only she could remember what had happened yesterday. She remembered drinking and then it was a total blank. She planned on asking Black Star when he woke up. If only she had known that would have resulted in a very embarrassed Black Star.

****

**Sorry this is so crappy and short. I'm still recovering from a stupid writer's block and I can't think of anything good. I might redo this chapter but for now, this will have to work. Yes, I know it isn't as funny as the others. This one was more serious but that's okay! I MADE IT THAT WAY SO DEAL WITH IT! Well peace! I will try to make the next one better!**

**R&R PLZ!**


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